.tied up.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

he.

we were messaging.
and he said this,
"if you go there's someone who doesn't know how he's ever gonna be happy again."
shocked.
i was shocked.
i didn't think he'd say tt.
it never occurred to me tt he would anyway.
i don't know how he felt.
he always said he missed me.
but well.
i always thought it was like a "very long never u see you friend-friend", kinda thing.
goodness.
all these while.
then i replied, "i'm confused."
and he said, "what's confusing"
i told him i'll reply after training.
and i did.
i asked what he meant by that sentence.
he said, "that someone is me judy"
shocked.
he actually said tt.
was kinda happy he did.
then it got down to a stage of confusion again.
as usual.
judy thinks too much.
judy gets easily confused.
oh well.
then i started thinking.
first time he told me he missed me.
i was on 163.
he msged.
i read.
he said he missed me.
then i replied.
"do you always say tt to girls? or am i the only one u say tt too?"
i guess i kinda offended him.
but he said i was the only one. besides his family.
but that's not the point.
i mean.
it's so easy for anyone. someone to say he/she misses you.
it's so easy to say he/she loves you.
the world has made it so easy to say such things.
how am i supposed to be sure that if you said that, you meant tt?
anyway.
i never really thought much about it.
though it did make me feel "loved", in a friend-friend sense.
i mean.
he has always been a good friend.
friend.
anyway.
i don't know what's going on.
and i don't really wanna think about it either.
here's a tip.
i hate assuming things.
i hate guessing.
so DON'T ever leave me hanging there.
you better tell me YES or NO.
straight in the face.
at least then i know what to say.
what to do.
what to feel.
don't leave me assuming and guessing.
i hate that feeling.

[ Jude whispered ][ 9:20 PM ]

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